45 Valentines Day Jokes For Instagram Captions 2022

Need some Valentines Day Jokes For Instagram? Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to celebrate any relationship status. Enjoy a giant box of chocolates, or use Valentine’s Day as a reason to have a glass of wine with friends.

If you’re celebrating Valentine’s Day on Instagram, use these Valentines Day Jokes For Instagram to help you remember the special day. Your other half is as important to you as Ree and Ladd Drummond were.

Valentines Day Jokes For Instagram

The perfect selfie message is “Everyday is Valentine’s Day when I’m with you”. Or, use romantic quotes from your favorite film: “If you’re a bird, I’m a bird. For Valentines Day Jokes For Instagram check the list below.

Valentines Day Jokes For Instagram

Valentines Day Jokes For Instagram
  • Knock, knock. “Who’s there?” “Butch, Jimmy, and Joe.” “Butch, Jimmy, and Joe who?” “Butch your arms around me, Jimmy a kiss, and lets Joe.”
  • What did the kitten say on Valentine’s Day? You’re purr-fect.
  • How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?” “He gave her a ring!”
  • Which type of flower is the best at giving smooches? Tulips.
  • What are insects called when they’re dating? Lovebugs.
  • What did the calculator say to the pencil?” “You can count on me.”
  • What do you call a romantic ship? A courtship.
  • Why did the sheriff lock up her boyfriend? He stole her heart.
  • Knock, knock. “Who’s there?” “Disguise.” “Disguise who?” “Disguise is your boyfriend!”
  • I once fell in love with someone who only knew 4 vowels. They didn’t know I existed.”
  • What did one oar tell the other oar?” “This is so row-mantic!”
  • Why did all the other fruit ask the banana to be their Valentine? She was very a-peel-ing.
  • Why are artichokes so beloved? They’re known for their hearts.
Valentines Day Jokes
  • What did the light bulb say to the other light bulb?” “You light my world up.”
  • Who always has a date on Valentine’s Day? A calendar.
  • What do you call a colorful heart that loves books? “Well-red.”
  • Knock, knock. “Who’s there?” “Peas.” “Peas who?” “Peas be mine!”
  • I thought I won the argument with my wife as to how to arrange the dining room furniture. But when I got home the tables were turned.”
  • What did the baker say to his wife on V-Day? “Gimme some sugar!”
  • What’s the most popular shape on Valentine’s Day? A-cute triangle.
  • Which new Taylor Swift tune is the best couple’s song for two ghosts to share? “Invisible String.”
  • How did the doorbell propose to his sweetheart? He gave her a ring.
  • What did the couple say after they were struck by Cupid’s arrow? “Ouch!”
  • How did the orca ask the other to be their Valentine? “Whale you be mine?”
  • Everyone has a date for Valentine’s Day—it’s February 14!
  • What do you call a ghost’s sweetheart?” “A ghoul-friend.”
  • Why didn’t the skeleton want to celebrate Valentine’s Day? His heart wasn’t in it. Tee-hee!
  • What kind of candy is never on time? ChocoLATE. Ha, ha, ha. Writing puns is harder than it looks.

Funny Valentines Day Jokes For Instagram

Funny Valentines Day Jokes For Instagram
  • What kind of flower do you never give on Valentine’s Day? Cauliflower.
  • Why did the sheriff lock up her Valentine? He stole her heart!
  • What did one sheep say to the other sheep on February 14? I love you baaaaaaack!
  • How much candy do you hope to get this Valentine’s Day?” “A choco-LOT!”
  • What did one Hershey’s bar say to the other who arrived long past their date time? “You’re choco-late.”
  • What did one flame say to another on Valentine’s Day?” “We’re a perfect match.”
  • Knock knock. “Who’s there?” “Olive.” “Olive who?” “Olive you!”
  • What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine’s Day? “I’m stuck on you.”
  • What do pieces of fruit write to each other in their V-Day cards? “I love you berry much!”
  • What can get you in trouble with the law on Valentine’s Day? Stealing too many hearts.
  • What did the octopus say to the other octopus on Valentine’s Day? I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand.
  • How can you tell when a squirrel is in love?” “It goes nuts!”
  • What did the volcano say to his mother? I lava you.
  • Knock, knock. “Who’s there?” “Howard.” “Howard who?” “Howard, you like a big kiss?”
  • Why would Forrest Gump be a good Valentine? He’d probably gift a box of chocolates.
  • How did the whale ask the other whale on Valentine’s date?” “Whale you be mine?”
  • Why are flowers popular on Valentine’s Day? Because they’re scent-imental! Awww.
  • Knock, knock. “Who’s there?” “Bea.” “Bea who?” “Bea my Valentine!
  • How can you get arrested on Valentine’s Day?” “For stealing someone’s heart.”
  • What did the love-obsessed candle say when it was lit? “I found the perfect match!”
  • What did the paper clip say to the magnet? I find you very attractive.
  • How did the coin propose to his girlfriend? He gave her a jingle.

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