45 Best Dirty Puns Ideas & Jokes

Are you hunting some dirty puns? Sometimes we need some changes in our life as change is necessary to get. Also, this thing goes for our social media. People might get bored to see the same thing again and again. You also may want to see something different on your social media.

Dirty Puns

To cut your boringness you need to have some pictures to post on your social media. Then you can add dirty puns. This will bring something new and odd. Not everyone can do it. To be extraordinary, use the below puns.

Dirty Puns

Dirty Puns
  • I’m emotionally constipated. I haven’t given a shit in days.
  • What do you call a man who cries while he pleasures himself? A tearjerker.
  • How is life like a penis? Your girlfriend makes it hard.
  • If a guy remembers the color of your eyes after the first date, chances are… you have small boobs.
  • If a woman sleeps with 10 men she’s a slut, but if a man does it… He’s gay, definitely gay.
  • What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? Hold onto your nuts, this ain’t no ordinary blowjob.
  • Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? Because his wife died.
  • What did the elephant say to the naked man? “How do you breathe through that tiny thing?”
  • One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, “Please send me a sister.” Santa Clause wrote him back, “Ok, send me your mother.”
  • What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They are both meat substitutes.
  • What did the guy say when he got caught masturbating to an optical illusion? It’s not what it looks like!

Best Dirty Puns

Best Dirty Puns
  • What did the clitoris say to the vulva? It’s all good in the hood!
  • What do you get if you cross an owl and a rooster? A cock that stays up all night.
  • Why was the guitar teacher arrested? For fingering a minor.
  • What do you get when you mix LSD and birth control? A trip without kids.
  • What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
  • Just another reason to moan, really.
  • What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say? Beat it. We’re closed.
  • How do you make your girlfriend scream during s*x? Call and tell her about it.
  • What is the difference between “ooooooh”and “aaaaaaah”? About three inches.
  • I’ve been taking Viagra for my sunburn. It doesn’t cure it but it keeps the sheets off my legs at night.
  • What did the banana say to the vibrator? Why are you shaking? She’s gonna eat me!

Dirty Jokes

Dirty Jokes
  • What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.
  • What’s the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.
  • Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
  • Why men’s voice is louder than women? Men have an antenna.
  • What do the Mafia and pussies have in common? One slip of the tongue, and you’re in deep shit.
  • What’s the best part about sex with 28-year-olds? There are twenty of them.
  • Why do women have orgasms?
  • What’s the difference between your dick and a bonus check? Someone’s always willing to blow your bonus.
  • If s*x is a pain in the ass, then you’re doing it wrong ..

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