45 Mom Jokes Puns Quotes And Captions For Instagram

Hey are looking for some mom jokes? And tired of old era joke and want to make your jokes look fresh as you are then trying these mom jokes.

Mom Jokes

Of course, if mom is funnier than dad then these jokes are going to worth a try as you may have already idea about these types are jokes these jokes are familiar and funny in a same time, we have bunch of mom jokes which you can try on party family gathering or anywhere you want these jokes are mostly veg jokes try it now. For the jokes and more check the list below.

Mom Jokes

  • Why is Mother’s Day before Father’s Day? So the kids can spend all their Christmas money on mom.
  • What did the mother broom say to the baby broom? It’s time to go to sweep!
  • Did you know, when kids go to bed, you can hear yourself think again? I sound fabulous.
  • It’d be cool if my kids could make something I actually want, like a bottle of wine, out of macaroni and glue.
  • Yes, please get a new cup every time you need water — said no mom ever.
  • Mom’s recipe for iced coffee: 1. Have kids. 2. Make coffee. 3. Forget you made coffee. 4. Drink it cold.
  • A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do in a day.
  • Mom, what’s it like to have the greatest daughter in the world?” “I don’t know, ask your grandma!
  • What are the three quickest ways to spread a rumor? The internet, telephone, and telling your mom.
  • Be nice to your children, for they will choose your rest home.
  • Mom: The amazing ability to hear a sneeze through closed doors, in the middle of the night, three bedrooms away — while daddy snores next to you.

Mom Jokes Puns

  • There is a legend that if you take a shower and scream “Mom” three times, a nice lady appears with the towel you forgot.
  • Waking your kids up for school the first day after a break is almost as much fun as birthing them was.
  • At my age I’m no longer a snack; I’m a Happy Meal. I come with toys and kids.
  • Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom? Because she left the phone off the hook.
  • Some days I do yoga and don’t yell at my kids. Some days I scream at them while eating cake over the kitchen sink. It’s called balance.
  • Spit up is my new favorite accessory; no outfit is complete without it.
  • Humpty, If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a hundred times not to sit on that wall. But would you listen to me? No!
  • When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it is a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it, anyway.
  • A police recruit was asked during the exam, ‘What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?’ He said, ‘Call for backup.’
  • They say women speak 20,000 words a day. I have a daughter who gets that done by breakfast.
  • I’ve got a bill here for a broken chair from the Bear family. Do you know anything about this, Goldie?

Mom Jokes Quotes Captions For Motherhood

Mom Jokes
  • Let’s get married and have kids so instead of enjoying coffee in the morning, you can braid hair while I pack lunches, and we can all be late.
  • Mom, what’s it like to have the greatest daughter in the world?” “I don’t know, ask your grandma!
  • What did the mommy spider say to the Baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.
  • What makes more noise than a child jumping on mommy’s bed? Two children jumping on mommy’s bed!
  • I hate when I’m waiting for mom to cook dinner, and then I remember I am the mom, and I have to cook dinner.
  • Why did the cookie cry? Because his mother was a wafer so long!
  • Having kids makes you look stable to the people who thought you were crazy and crazy to the people who thought you were stable.
  • The majority of my diet is made up of foods that my kid didn’t finish.
  • There are no rules in this house. I’m not like a regular mom, I’m a cool mom.
  • I don’t want to sleep like a baby. I want to sleep like my husband.
  • Licked a dark smear off my finger, and then thought, “Phew it’s chocolate.”
  • Never doubt a mother! She can carry a screaming toddler, two gallons of milk, talk on her cell phone, and still shoot you daggers for looking at her crazy.

Mom Jokes Quotes For Instagram

  • Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we’ve set aside enough money to pay for our kids’ therapy.
  • I love it when I find myself screaming ‘STOP SCREAMING’ at my kids. That’s how I teach them irony.
  • Kids are challenging. Wine is necessary.
  • Mike, can’t you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?
  • Why did the mommy cat want to go bowling? She was an alley cat.
  • I hate when I’m waiting for mom to cook dinner and then I remember I am the mom, and I have to cook dinner.
  • I feel personally victimized by my own daughter. I just want her to stop throwing crackers at me.
  • Let’s get married and have kids so instead of enjoying coffee in the morning, you can braid hair while I pack lunches, and we can all be late.
  • Please excuse the mess, my kids are making memories. Of me yelling at them. To clean up the mess.
  • Silence is golden. Unless you have kids, then silence is suspicious.
  • Licked a dark smear off my finger, and then thought, “Phew it’s chocolate.”
  • Nothing is really lost until Mom can’t find it.

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