[140+] Best Witty Instagram Captions-Picture, Post and Selfies-2023

If you are someone who takes about 4 minutes to choose a filter for your Instagram photo and about four hours to write an Instagram caption then you should visit our page for witty Instagram captions.

So, people, next time when you are contemplating a caption to go with your Instagram shot do have a look over our complete list of witty Instagram captions for any mood you need to evoke on the audience you want to connect with. You can incorporate many of the witty Instagram captions in your Instagram stories too.

We all know that Instagram has taken the world by storm. So it’s quite understandable that you wish to have followers and post some really nice stuff. We are here for you with the witty Instagram captions which you can easily use for your post captions to draw the reader in so be alert to use the right witty Instagram captions.

Witty Instagram Captions

1. First I drink the coffee. Then I do the things.
2. When I feel like giving up on my dreams, I keep sleeping
3. Me Everyday: Slay Me in December: Sleigh
4. Everyone has a chapter they don’t read out loud.
5. If you are funny, you are automatically 75% more probable that we are friends. You know, many things change and fade, but sarcasm is forever.
6. You don’t have to like me; I’m not a Facebook status.
7. I might look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.
8. I don’t give a ship!
9. OH, so you wanna argue? Bring it. I got my caps lock ON.
10. The best workout is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. Lunch.
11. If there would be an award for being lazy, I would send someone to pick it up for me.
12. Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.
13. Be the kind of person that makes others step up their game.
14. A jealous woman does better research than the FBI.
15. I don’t care what people think of me. Mosquitos find me attractive!
16. They say: Do what you love and the money will come to you. Just ordered pizza, now I am waiting…
17. Different doesn’t mean wrong.
18. I stepped on cornflakes, now I’m a cereal killer.
19. Namast’ay in bed.
20. Be strong, I whispered to my WiFi signal.

Best Witty Instagram Captions

We have created the best witty Instagram captions which are potential enough to put your account on fire. Our best witty captions which we have collected from all corners of the Internet will make sure your post-receive the credit they deserve. Get a look over the best witty Instagram captions they are unique as well as short.

1. We all have that one friend.
2. Too glam to give a damn.
3. I don’t know what’s tighter: my jeans or our love
4. Sending my selfie to NASA, because I’m a star.
5. Presumably the best meat eater on the planet
6. Mirror: you look amazing today Camera: Nope, you don’t
7. Please God, if you can’t make me thin, make my friends fat.
8. Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they will start using it.
9. When nothing goes right, go left.
10. I will go into survival mode if tickled
11. I made a huge list for today. I just can’t figure out who’s going to do it.
12. Single as a dollar but not looking for change.
13. Life was much easier when apple and blackberry were just fruits.
14. Mermaids don’t do homework.
15. I like you because you join in on my weirdness.
16. Showing cleavage doesn’t fix your face.

Witty Picture Captions

Expressing the exact meaning through a witty picture caption plays a greater role in overall interaction with the photo. In order to get the witty picture captions, you can easily approach our page and get the witty picture captions that you desire.

1. It’s bad manners to keep a vacation waiting.
2. I spend a lot of time holding the refrigerator door open, looking for answers. Also food.
3. I think something’s missing in my life. Like 2-3 million dollars.
4. I woke up like this.
5. I must destroy you with hugs and kisses.
6. When the roots are deep there are no reasons to fear the wind.
7. Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.
8. You just can’t spell awesome without me.
9. Can we just skip to the part of my life where I travel the world?
10. I like long romantic walks down every aisle at Target.
11. What you seek is seeking you.
12. Confidence level: Kanye West.
13. Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.
14. Stop looking for happiness in the same place you just lost it.
15. I am not lazy, I am just on save energy mode.
16. I’m not crazy I prefer the term mentally hilarious.

Witty Instagram Captions For Selfies

In the recent era, we can see that the selfie has taken over social networking, although going for a good selfie on Instagram could be hard. But still somehow if you manage to get selfie then another problem is a witty Instagram caption for selfies. So get the witty Instagram captions for selfies from our page.

1. What if the princess wants to be with Bowser but Mario keeps kidnapping her.
2. Every tall girl needs a short best friend.
3. My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
4. Newton’s law of love: Love can neither be created nor be destroyed. Only it can transfer from one girlfriend to another with some loss of money.
5. If I die tomorrow, will you remember me
6. People have Ex-Girlfriends. I have Ex-Crushes.
7. One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.
8. If I have to clean my house before you come over, then we’re not real friends.
9. My diet plan: make all of my best friends cookies; the fatter they get, the thinner I look.
10. May god have mercy upon my enemies, Because I won’t.
11. We all have that one friend.
12. Make love, not war. Hell, do both. Get married..
13. Sometimes all you need is a billion dollars.
14. Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in.
15. You don’t have to be crazy to be my friend. I’ll train you.

Witty Instagram Captions For Post

1. What if we told you … you can eat without posting it on Instagram?
2. I am not fat, I am just. Easier to see.
3. It’s not about who would let me, it’s about who will stop me?
4. I’m just a girl, standing in front of a salad, asking it to be a cupcake.
5. How do people write an autobiography? I can barely remember what I had for lunch yesterday.
6. You don’t have to be born beautiful to be wildly attractive.
7. Great friends happen because you’re a great friend too.
8. I am not feeling lazy actually; I am just incredibly motivated to do nothing.
9. Do I run? Yes, Out of time, patients and money.
10. I’ve been shopping all my life and still have nothing to wear.
11. Don’t let anyone tell you that you wear too much black.
12. Do you know what’d look good on you? Me.
13. A witty woman is a treasure; a witty beauty is a power.
14. That awkward moment when you’re wearing Nike’s and you can’t do it.
15. Dream big, sparkle more, shine bright.

Clever Witty Instagram Captions

1. You shouldn’t always follow the crowd. Everybody could be going to the dentist!
2. Friends knock on the door, best friends walk into your house and start eating.
3. 75% of my humor starts with a bad photograph.
4. As soon as I saw you, I knew an adventure is going to happen.
5. I need a six-month holiday, twice a year.
6. A friend in need a friend to be avoided.
7. There are 16-year-olds competing at the Olympics and some of us still push on “pull” doors.
8. We tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of our lives!
9. Good girl, bad habits.
10. If we see the light at the end of the tunnel. It is the light of the oncoming train.
11. My hobbies include trying to close the elevator door before someone else gets on.
12. Good shoes take you good places.

Witty Couple Captions

1. There are no excuses for laziness, but I’m still looking.
2. It’s not a Sunday unless your breakfast becomes your lunch.
3. Only dead fish go with the flow.
4. A blind man walks into a bar, and a chair, and a table.
5. You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do.
6. Do more things that make you forget to check your phone.
7. Better a witty fool than a foolish wit.
8. I know looks aren’t everything, but I have them just in case.
9. The little things in life matter.

Witty Instagram Captions 2022

1. Accept who you are..unless you’re a serial killer.
2. I’m the king of the world!
3. Interrupt my sleep and I’ll interrupt your breathing.
4. I had fun once, it was horrible.
5. Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death!
6. Darling, you are a work of art.
7. Choose kindness and laugh often.
8. I think you are lacking vitamin me!
9. What if I told you, you can eat without posting it on Instagram.
10. I will slap you so hard even, Google won’t be able to find you.
11. Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.

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